November 07, 2014
My dearest Marshall,
As I write this, I will try my hardest not to cry at the thought of not celebrating today’s special day with you.
Watching you on an iPad screen, staring at me closely, while I greet you a happy 1st birthday is very heart-breaking for me.
I wonder what runs on your beautiful mind baby…
Perhaps, just looking at your bright eyes and giving me that genuine smile is like telling me,
“It’s okay mom. I understand.” (and now I am teary-eyed)
It has been exactly 365 days of happiness for the entire family since God brought you into this world. And every single day, we glorify Him for that.
It is still fresh on my mind how I used to carry you on my tummy for 39 weeks..
and how excited your dad was when he first saw you.
By the time you read this, can you still remember what life looked like before you turned as who you are now? Probably not, but how I wish you would cherish every moment we shared together. Even from a distance.
Talking about distance, I remember the day when dada and I first left you in the Philippines and had to go back to Singapore. It was a New Year’s Day yet we need to leave for work. And that was one tough decision for us.
Luckily, Dada and I were so much blessed that God chose us to be with the best family members. Despite long distance relationship, we know you are always in the hands of loving people.
Remember those sleepless nights of Nanay though she still got to work?
And the eagerness of Tatay to teach you how to drive,
the laughter and giggles you shared with Tita Tetet,
the sweetness of Tito Mac when he carried you for the first time,
the thoughtfulness of Tita Leah to constantly give you little something…
How about the times you hold Papa’s hand to guide you climb the stairs,
or Mama’s lullabies to let you fall asleep,
the effort of Tita Belbel to capture your every important growing up details,
and the patience of Tito Itoy to look after your kakulitan…
When you grow old, think about all these important people and please always be grateful to them. For you will never be the same person you are now without their enormous help.
You had your first cry,
your first smile,
first crawl,
first step,
first teeth,
and a lot more.
Anak, we may not be there in every first of your life, and we admit that we have missed some of your precious milestones. It might be too early for you to comprehend the things that are happening for now, but in time you will.
It’s very difficult for us being far away from you but just seeing that adorable face makes it all worth it.
Marshall, please understand that we will not buy everything you want. But we will try to give you anything you need. As of the moment, Dada and I are working hard to give you the best future you can have.
Just keep holding on and stay strong baby. It won’t take too long and we will be together as a family.
Eventually, we will have the most important valuable asset in life. Time.
Soon you can become whoever you want to be, and do whatever you want to do.
Soon you’ll become taller, bigger, and smarter.
I hope I can still have as many hugs and kisses I am having from you now.
Time flies so fast and the thought of you being out of this world alone,
finding yourself,
chasing your dreams,
and making your own destiny frightens me.
Though at the same time, I am anticipating you becoming an amazing and dynamic individual.
Tomorrow morning, we will fly back to the Philippines, then come back to Singapore on Sunday.
It’s alright. We will have at least 36 hours to spend and celebrate your 1st year. It’s not too late, right?
We love you more than all these words can say. Happy 1st-year anak!
God bless you more…
See you tomorrow when you wake up!
Bunch of kisses and hugs,
Mami 😉
